Saturday, May 31, 2008

Big Changes

Okay, so I knew that having a kid was a big change, but I just never stopped to think about all the ramifications of this "single" change. This completely dependent human being obviously changes things like sleep at night, budgeting for diapers, and learning how to properly hold an infant. But I just never thought about the smorgousboard of other little changes: 1) laundry - seriously, Selah has more clothes than me. And she somehow makes them dirty on a rather regular basis. 2) Cabin Fever - I've never spent this much time in my place of dwelling ever. But when leaving home requires as much planning as it does now, I'm pleased that we even get to go to church. 3) Marriage - not only did the sex switch get turned off for six weeks, but now I'm married to a mom. Loving a mother, I'm finding out, is totally different than loving a wife. Support takes on a whole new meaning, and a meaning that I'm not to great at interpreting at the moment. 4) Fatigue - So Selah not only needs holding, shooshing, swaying, rocking, bathing, feeding, and diaper changing 15x a day, but she has had this annoying infection in the skin-fold of her neck which is causing her to cry a lot. So we put ointment and powder on it 3-5 x a day. A friend of ours gave the whole new birth experience the perfect word -- "relentless".

I heard someone say that when you get married, a little part of you dies. And when you add kids, the dying process keeps on a' working. And it's so true. My family is not just Rachel and me getting to do whatever we want whenever we want. We can't move to the Philippines to take courses at an Asian seminary anymore. We are living for more than our own desires and wishes. We have voluntarily invited another human into our fold and now that human is affecting the way we live. Like I said, it was somewhat expected, but who can truly predict the far-reaching consequences of adding another person into your most private spaces. 

Welcome to our family Selah.